Hetalia- Short stories
by EndearedDarkness
Summary: A collection of Hetalia short stories. Expect some fluff, some action, some drama and most of all some PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! No flaming but constructive critisism is appreciated. Requests and ideas for stories are welcomed with open arms in Reviews. Thank you! Enjoy!
1. Wurst?

**Welcome to Hetalia short stories, veh~ I hope you enjoy these stories about the WHOOOOLE world! Well, most of the nations. I think. Veh~! Aaaanyways, enjoy!**

**Boring stuff: Hetalia is property of Funimation and I take no claim to its ownership.**

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**Wurst?**

It was a beautiful day outside and he was stuck indoors. Germany fiddled with the iron cross carefully attatched to his crisp military uniform, annoyed at America's witless droning on.

'And THAT, bros, is how we're going to fix this messed up economy thing!' America finished with a wide sweep of his arms.

'I wasn't really listening, aru. What were you saying?' asked China, ignoring the evil look he was getting from England and the irritated sighs from Austria. Romano actually slammed his head into the table of the World Conference Meeting Room, knocking over his coffee and successfully spilling his coffee all over the table and his own hair.

'GAAAAAAAAAAAH! I BLAME-A YOU, SPAIN!' He screamed, swatting at his own head as he sat bolt upright.

'Big-a brother! You'll be alright, veh~' Italy smiled dumbly, his usual oblivious smile speading across his face. Germany looked around as China prodded America for answers; England began to hold France in a choke hold; Sweden and Finland locked eachother in idle conversation; Japan got up to go and make some onigiri with Italy and Spain was shouting rushed apologies at Romano, who was flailing a towel around his head.

Germany sighed heavily.

'I give up vith all of these damn meetings! Nothing ever gets done and I alvays end up vith a headache!' He exclaimed, though none of the rowdy nations took any notice. The German put his head down on a stack of paperwork that was in front of him (a speech he WAS going to give on the most methodical ways to stabilize the economy) and wearily shut his eyes.

'I might as vell take oont nap if nothing is going to get done since I didn't sleep very vell last night.' He reminisced on Italy's delighted screeching as he found a little kitten had fallen on Germany's bed, after which Germany had had to go to try and sleep on the sofa because Italy refused to budge.

'I svear zat boy is bad for my health.' Germany muttered, lightly resting his heavy hands over his head to try and block out the worst of the noise. It wasn't long before he woke up, feeling like he had slept for hundreds of years. When he sat up slowly, the conferance room was strangely quiet and empty.

'How vierd, there seems to be nobody here. I vunder if zey all left already?' He got up, perplexed at how there wasn't even any trace of America's badly drawn pictures on the chalkboard. The German got up, stretched and fixed his uniform hair before leaving the room to look for Italy and Japan. He stepped into the corridor, and almost collapsed to see England and France in a civil conversation, discussing the latest trends in both countries while France gave kind advice on how to cook delicious meals.

'...Vhat?'

He continued on his expedition for the rest of the Axis and was shocked to find China chatting with Japan about sharing copyrights on the latest gaming consoles. Germany shook his head and entered a room where Russia was having a friendly conversation with Seychelles.

'That would be wonderful, da?' Russia finished happily, a glass of water near his wrist. He wasn't wearing his scarf, but instead was wearing a smart suit and a tie. Seychelles nodded merrily back, not afraid of the usually dreaded man. Lithuania came up to his side, and gently tapped his shoulder, none of the usual fear in his eyes.

'Da?'

'Ah, two things, Mister Russia. First, could I take some time off to visit Poland's house? He invited me over for a while.'

'But of course, that only makes sense, da?'

'Thanks! Second, would you like me to pick up some vodka for you in the airport?'

'No thankyou, I don't drink that, da.'

Germany's jaw dropped. He quickly stepped to the side as all of the nations stepped into the room, excepting Canada. Once everyone was seated, said nation walked inside, uttering an apology for being late.

'Good afternoon, Canada.' Everyone said formally.

'Vhat the hell is going on? Mein Gott... Zey're even recognising Canada! How on Earth did zis happe-' The German exclaimed, cut off by a familiar voice.

'Today, gentlemen and ladies, we're-a going to be discussing the economy, veh~' Italy said, standing up with paperwork in his hands. Suddenly, a jingly tune sounded outside.

'An ice-cream truck?' Germany turned to America, expecting him to bolt outside. When he didn't, Germany decided to go out and investigate, only to see Prussia ordering something from a... wurst van?

'Mein Gott! Bruder! Vhat is going on?!' Germany called out, preparing for a barrage of ''awesomeness'. Prussia turned around and held out a carefully wrapped sausage to the younger German.

'Ah, Germany! Vell, I bought you a vurst, don't let it get cold!'

Germany blacked out.

'...Ger..an...' A faint voice called out.

'...Germany...'

'Germany, wake up!'

'Bro, is he alright? A familiar American tone called.

'DOITSUUUUUUUUUUUU~!'

The scent of a wurst filled Germany's nose, and he sat bolt upright.

'VURST?!' He yelled.

All of the nations were crowded around him, Prussia jabbing a sausage into his brother's face. Italy grabbed Germany from behind and began babbling.

'Germany, we were so-a worried, veh! You were-a out cold for-a ever! I got worried when you were on the-a table because I thought you were-a dead and then America said you were asleep and then...'

Germany shut his eyes and sighed as the nations muttered things like 'Doesn't sleep enough, that guy' and 'Maybe he's just tired'.

'Just oont dream, eh? Of course. Zat sort of thing never happens. Only in my dreams.'

**~End**

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Review and favourite if you enjoyed! More soon! Next chapter will be a reader insert fluff centered on... Japan!


	2. Japan

**READER INSERT FLUFF ALERT. TURN TO THE NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY FLUFFY READER INSERT THINGS. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE A FLUFFY READER INSERT THING INVOLVING KIKU/JAPAN.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy! For those who don't know, a reader insert is where if you see _ you stick your own name and I think we all know what fluff is. For those who really don't know, fluff is stuff that's all cute and fwuffy.**

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**Japan...**

You and the Axis are relaxing in a quiet clearing, enjoying some roasted marshmallows (or, in Germany's case, wurst) over a campfire. Italy is staring intently into the dancing flames. Suddenly, he jumps up and yells 'LET'S-A SING A CAMP-AFIRE SONG, VEH~!'

'F is for friends who do stuff togetherrr, U is for you and meeee, veh~' Italy looks expectantly at Japan and Germany. Germany mutters something irritatedly through a mouthful of wurst while Japan quietly sings 'N is for anywhere and anytime at all, up here with the axis, shee~'. You're surprised, his voice is very soft and sweet. He turns to you to see you staring at him and you look away quickly, your cheeks a light pink.

'Is something wrong, _?' He asks, looking slightly startled.

'N-nothing.' You stutter, ashamed that you got caught staring.

The awkward silence that follows is broken by Italy yawning loudly.

'Well, I'm-a pooped! G'night, Japan! G'night Germany! G'night _!' Italy exclaims before disappearing into his jade tent. Germany stifles a yawn with the back of his hand and grabs his camoflage jacket before slinging it over his shoulder.

'I suppose I'll be off to bed, too. I hope you sleep vell, Japan, _.' He stomps out the fire, leaving only a few dancing embers in the night air before sighing and entering the same tent as Italy had. You had agreed that it would be best if Germany shared with Italy as you and Japan would have gone insane simply because of over-exposure to the Italian optimism which the German was used to.

You and Kiku sit in silence for a bit before Kiku sighs and opens a small backpack next to him.

'Wourd you rike to read some of my manga, _?' He asks, offering a brightly coloured book.

'Oh, sure. Thanks.'

'No probrem.'

You flick through the manga a bit, not particularly interested. It's a fairly good story, about a boy who confesses to his life long love. You see that Kiku has several different series, some of which he knows you'd prefer to read. You're slightly perplexed, but you just shrug it off and continue to read. You're about four chapters in at a particularly sappy part when a small, pale hand appears on top of your own.

'_.' Japan holds your hand, his own a little clammy. You look up into his hazel eyes, a little surprised.

'Y-yes?'

'I have something I would rike to say. I... I-' You give him a puzzled look, your face pinkening slightly. 'I... I rike you, _. I have for a very rong time, I'm sorry if this ruins our friendship at arr, but I can't go wothout saying this to you, prease don't hate me for this, I just had to te-'

You silence him by pulling him into a hug. You smile slightly, your heart fluttering.

'I like you too, Kiku.' The embers dance between you and him, then he wriggles backwards and places his hands on your shoulders.

'It's rate, we shourd go to bed otherwise Germany won't be very happy.' Japan mumbles, smiling very slightly.

'You're right.' You reply.

You both head into your tent, holding hands. You break the hold and get into your separate sleeping bag, and you hear Japan mutter something as he turns over before you fall asleep.

'Good night, _,' he seems to hesitate. 'Aishiteru.'

You smile and turn over, dozing off with a happy heart and a content smile on your face.

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**Sorry if you don't like fluff, but I hope those who do enjoyed this. Also, sorry if this was kinda short. Next chapter will center on... somebody.**

**Ciao~**


	3. Capture

**Hello again! Yes, three chapters in one night. I'm on a roll, veh~ Anyway, our first request story! From:**

**ItaLiech Fanboy- Liechtenstein's home alone. She hears screaming from outside she finds out that it was Italy who is being chased by the Allies. So she decides to help him.**

**Thanks for the idea! Hope you enjoy!**

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Liechtenstein was bored. Usually she was playing with her big brother, Switzerland, but today he had taken a call from Spain and declared he needed to go and help him out with something.

Something about not being able to pick tomatoes fast enough.

Anyway, she was beginning to consider going out to meet somebody, despite Switz's constant warning about strangers and abduction and whatnot, when a scream pierced the air.

'GERMANYYYYYYYYYY!'

The voice sounded very distressed and familiar, so Liechenstein looked out of the window sheepishly. What she saw suprised her a bit.

'GERMANYYYY! WHERE-A ARE YOU?! I'M-A BEING CHASED BY THE ALLIES!' Italy was sprinting down a hill, closely pursued by five men. Each called out something to the panicking Italian in turn.

'GET HIM, BROS!'

'COME BACK, YOU LITTLE GIT!'

'I'M GONNA CATCH HIM, ARU!'

'OHONHONHONHONHON'

'We can become one, da?'

'SOMEBODY-A HELP MEEE!'

Liechenstein felt really sorry for Italy but was hesitant to go out in case she was captured, too. Switz wouldn't be very happy if he had to go bust her out of some rusty old cell. However, when she heard the cry of 'WHERE IS GERMANY WHEN YOU-A NEED HIM?!' she decided enough was enough and grabbed a scarf and hat before heading out into the crisp afternoon air. The moment her small feet hit the ground outside of her house, she began running towards the advancing Allies and a panicked Italy.

Almost straight away Italy tripped and England grabbed him by the wrists.

'Got you, you git!'

Liech made a swipe for England, sticking her elbow into his ribs and grabbing his arms. He just shook her off, allowing her to get picked up by Russia who threw her over his shoulder, kicking and yelling.

**-Two hours later-**

'...So! Liechenstein, was it? It's-a pleasure to be a prisoner with you, veh~!' The Italian grinned obliviously, trying to lighten the mood in the cell the two had been tossed into while the Allies went to discuss what to do with them. Liech looked up, smiling at Italy's happy mood.

'I guess it won't be too bad to stay around for a little while.' She replied, trying not to sound ashamed of herself for getting caught. She was already plotting on how she'd kick England in his british balls when he next brought them something to eat and then they'd escape, Italy calling Germany to beat the hell out of the Allies and her calling Switz to help. Suddenly, the cell door burst open and the very England Liech was plotting so hard against stepped into the cell and put some food on the floor that rested on a grey tray. He was dressed like a miner, lamp adorned hat and all. There was even a shovel tied to his belt.

Which got caught on the cell door as he left and fell onto the floor.

Oblivious, England left as Italy rushed to the tray. He yelled in delight.

'It's-a not England's cooking! It's-a France's cooking, veh~!' He cried happily, digging into a bowl of steaming potatoes in butter with roasted steak. Liech, however, darted for the shovel and tested it against the loose material of the cell floor. It crumbled beneath the sharp edge of the shovel. Why England had been dressed as a miner she didn't know, but she didn't question it as it meant her and Italy's possible escape. She smiled mischieviously then set the shovel down, joining Italy for the meal.

Three hours of digging later, Liech and Italy were outside, covered in dirt and panting from exhaustion. Both prisoners pulled out their cells and grimaced at the number of missed calles from Switz and Germany respectively. Soon they were both picked up by their peers and were lectured for hours on end on safety and strangers.

**~End**

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**Well, thankyou for the suggestion! I hope you enjoyed! No idea what the next one's going to be about, so leave a review and a suggestion if you liked it! Follows are also appreciated, veh~**


	4. Who's who? Me or you?

**Hello again! Yes, I have another requested story today! Thankyou to Ayumi Kudou for this suggestion:**

**All of the G8, including China, switch bodies.**

**Thanks for the brilliant idea! Pasta for you! Veh~**

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**Who's who? Me or you?**

It started off as a normal day. Italy was goofing off during training. Again. Germany let out a heavy sigh and finished running a lap outside of the building where the World Conferences were held, wiping the sweat from his brow. Looking over to Japan, who was sat under a tree reading manga, and Italy, who was tucking into a tub of Ravioli, he checked the small watch on his wrist. _Almost time for the conference, _he thought, signalling over to the two under the tree to go inside the huge building.

When the Axis stepped into the hall, they noticed most of the usuals weren't there. The only people who had seemed to show up were the Axis and the Allies... and Canada, who nobody had taken any notice of. England looked strangely tense, a brown hood up over his blonde hair, his eyes glowing an even more menacing green than usual. This was creepy enough... until he started to chant.

'Expellia ser mughi so, cheese and onion are cheetos, terghi musfos engi ni, MAKE WHO'S WHO TO YOU AND ME!' he said the final words with a flourish, sweeping his arms wide and causing a pathetic breeze to rustle France's cap- cloak a bit.

'Well that was totally lame, bro!' America laughed, mocking England's spell. The Englishman just chuckled menacingly in response.

Suddenly a purple mist began rising from the oak table, swirling faster and faster until every man in the room was enveloped by it. Soon coughing filled the room and nobody could see more than thirty centimeters in front of them. The smoke began to disperse, leaving everyone looking rather disgruntled and confused. Italy piped up from one side of the room. _Wasn't he sat next to America, aru? _China thought, slightly confused.

'I feel-a weird, veh~! Hang on a second...' Everyone turned to where the voice had come from, and it was... Germany? The Germany with Italy's voice spoke again. 'Woah! I'm all-a buff now! Look, Germany! I'm-a you! Veh~!' Italy-Germany flexed his muscles, grinning. All of the countries stared, Japan looking most horrified. Japan then spoke in a gruff German accent.

'ITALY! Vhy the hell are you in my body?! Vait, I'm Japan? Mein Gott!' He cried, staring at his hands. Everyone began speaking at once, and it became apparent who was who. Italy was Germany; Japan was Italy; Germany was Japan; China was Canada; Canada was China; Russia was France; America was Russia; England was America and France was England. Everyone stopped and started to yell at whoever was in their real bodies.

'JAPAAAAN! YOU'RE-A ME! VEEEEH~! WOO!' Italy-Germany shouted, throwing his arms into the air.

'This is strange, I wonder how rong this wirr go on for?' Japan-Italy put his hand over his mouth, smelling garlic on his breath. 'I shourd brush my teeth...'

'VHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, ENGLAND?! I'LL KILL YOU!' Germany-Japan screamed at England-America, jumping forward to make a grab at the disgruntled man.

'So this is what it feels like to be invisible, aru...' China-Canada sighed, looking down at the polar bear in his arms. 'WHAT HAPPENED TO PANDA?!'

'I feel noticed! Yaaay!' Canada-China cried, his face lighting up. He then looked into his arms, confused. 'Huh? A panda?'

'I shall drink some vodka in this body, da?' Russia-France smiled.

'Woah, dudes, I feel like totally drunk or something!' America-Russia swayed on his feet, grabbing the scarf around his neck as if it would keep him upright.

'I think I can feel my bloody brain cells dying just by being America!' England-America shouted, throwing the burger in his hand onto the floor in disgust.

'OHONHONHONHONHON! What shall I do with your body, mon ami?' France-England chuckled, looking himself up and down.

'NOTHING YOU BLOODY FROG GIT!' England-America retorted, going to grab France-England to strangle him then remembering if he did he'd be damaging his own body.

What followed wasn't pretty. Everyone began scrapping with whoever was in their body, excepting the axis, Canada-China (Who was really enjoying being seen for once in his life) and China-Canada (Who was feeling far too depressed because he had never felt so unnoticed before in his life). The room went silent as the great doors creaked open and Prussia poked his silver-haired head through the gap. He stared at everyone until the silence was broken by Germany-Japan shouting at him.

'BRUDER! Do you have ANY idea hov ve can return to normal?'

Prussia remained silent and slowly retreated out of the room, closing the door behind him. Everyone heard a hysterical laugh outside of the door.

'KESESESESESE, BRUDER'S A LITTLE TEENY MAN! PAHAHAHAHAH!' Prussia cried, practically sobbing with laughter.

England-America piped up.

'Look, everyone, just go to bed, this SHOULD wear off in the morning.'

Outraged cries sounded from all around.

'SHOULD?!'

In the morning everybody woke up in their appropriate bodies, and let's just say that nobody looked at England without hatred for about a week.

**~End**

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**I hope you enjoyed! No idea what the next one's going to be about, probably a Canada/America story.**

**Ciao!**


	5. Gangnam Style?

**Sorry about such the gap between updates. I've been very busy lately, so I hope you don't mind that my updates have been so irregular. Enjoy!**

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**Oppan Gangnam Style...**

South Korea regretted everything.

The hit song by PSY that the whole world had gone mad over still hadn't died. Gangnam Style. Sometimes he wished he could just make the whole dance craze go poof. The biggest culprit in the unending craze was definitely America and his stupid clingy obsession to new fads or stuff that had been circulating the world.

At first the nation had been tolerant of the fad; simply smiling whenever someone walked past mouthing 'Oppan Gangnam Style!' or doing a little mock horse-riding dance as they went by in the hallways. Then things got out of hand. Very, very out of hand. It started off with many of the nation groups singing the song in meetings, and some had even set the song as their ringtone and they would call eachother to get the song going. The worst part about this?

NONE OF THEM KNEW THE WORDS.

It went from a simple quiet sing-along to a full on karaoke session and practicall all of the nations spoke no Korean so it was mainly everybody going 'Mrmblemrmblemrmble' until it got to the chorus, in which everyone would stand up and yell 'OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!', starting off the dance session. At first, South Korea thought he had a friend in this chaos. Germany. The German was irritated at the fad as nothing got done in his precious world meetings. It wasn't until later on that South Korea saw how bad the craze had gotten.

Put it this way, when you see the most serious man you know get up, loosen his tie and start doing a silly dance about riding horses with TURKEY of all people, you know that you're doomed. The two men had linked arms and had danced at the back of the Gangnam conga line which America and France had started, leading to a crazy hubbub and South Korea with his head smacked into the desk from sheer frustration. The obsession with PSY's hit had come in five stages to the Korean, each with its own story, each worsening as they progressed.

**STAGE 1- BRITISH AND AMERICAN HYPE**

****Things had started out alright.

Until America got his hands on the catchy song. South Korea was proud of PSY's work and decided to show it to the American, thinking that he would laugh at the funny video and the dance and then think nothing more of it. Oh, how wrong he was. America showed it to England, who, for once, found it amusing. The whole silly dance and catchy tune had a certain charm to them that the Brit admired. England soon got his rarely seen brothers (of course, Scotland and Northern Ireland) interested, and so the United Kingdom as a whole had found interest.

This moves onto America showing Canada, and the two nations (and all of their people) became completely and utterly obsessed with the song. South Korea thought nothing of it, thinking it would just get his people some recognition. That was, of course, until the song hit the British and American top 10 charts. This led onto...

**STAGE 2- FAN HYPE**

Soon fan parody videos started popping up everywhere and were gaining popularity all over the net. South Korea lost important emails in the sea of messages linking to the videos that other nations had created, claiming that theirs were 'The best out of everybody's', each getting increasingly tiresome. It came to the point where the Korean had to set a filter on his e-mail service that automatically deleted any messages with the words 'Gangnam Style' in them.

**STAGE 3- THE DISEASE SPREADS**

****It wasn't long before nearly every nation on earth had heard the song and had found some sort amusement in the funny video and catchy tune. South Korea had nicknamed the fad 'The GS pandemic' as it was spreading faster than the rumours about England's **-*EXTREMELY CENSORED FOR ANY KIDDIES WHO MAY BE READING THIS*- **and _was just not dying off._ Usually by this stage a craze had died off and people who referenced said dead craze would be given a 'Psh, that's over now. Stop trying to bring back what's gone.' in response. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case, and this lead onto...

**STAGE 4- THE LIFT INCIDENT**

Now things were seriously trying South Korea's patience. It was a fairly warm day and the World Conference was being held in America's house (a large venue as some of the nations who didn't usually attend decided today would be a particularly nice day to actually turn up to the meeting for once) and he really couldn't be bothered taking the many stairs that led up to the meeting. The air-conditioned steel lift was so appealing at the time the Korean had completely forgotten about one very popular part of the video.

In this big mistake, South Korea hit the button for the switch and was horrified as the shiny doors slid open to reveal...

Russia air-humping while standing over Estonia.

The doors slid shut and the lift returned upstairs, leaving the Korean stood stunned with the horrific mental image of the Russian grinning maniacally with a faucet in one hand doing that one movement forever burned into his head. This then happened at least ten more times over the course of the day, with Russia just staring straight ahead with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

**FINAL STAGE- THE BAD TOUCH TRIO GET INVOLVED**

South Korea drew the line when the infamous group got involved.

The video went viral, the two nations and the non-nation doing the routine. You'd think that this would be alright, except it wasn't. For one, single reason that had many of the female nations (and even some of the male) nosebleeding all over the place. Spain was wearing a t-shirt and hotpants, Prussia was wearing nothing but a thong and France, of course, was wearing nothing at all. Even England called this an outrage and when Italy e-mailed the video to Germany during the meeting everyone went silent as the tall man simply closed his laptop, put it into his briefcase and stepped out of the room. Shortly after, hysterical laughter like that that had never been heard before echoed through the hallways as the German walked out of the building and went home.

A fortnight later, Germany called in saying that he wouldn't be there as he had lost his voice because of one part of the video.

Spain doing a turtle impression and shuffling along after Prussia and France who were jogging backwards. It wasn't only the fact that this happened, oh no. Austria had got drunk and done the cancan behind everyone, following them down the street in nothing but a feather boa and a towel toga.

Soon the fad was declared dead and nobody was allowed to mention it ever again.

Of course, with nearly one and a half billion views on the most popular video sharing site Gangnam Style was never really going to die.

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**Review if you liked it! Not sure what the next chapter will be.**


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